Today Lidany and I went on a field trip with one of our daughters to Appalachian Caverns http://www.appacaverns.com/. Let’sget something straight . . . it’s not “AppalaYshun”, it’s “Apple-atchun”. Got it? NOTHING tears at the heart of a true Appalachian native than to hear our home place called something it’s not. It always gags me to watch the news and hear somebody that’s never set foot in our version of Eden mis-pronounce it. Some of them don’t know any better, so to those I say “read the pronunciation key above”. The others think they know more about living here than we do. *AHEM* My family has been in these mountians since 1767 (look it up!) we know how to sling-o the lingo . . . comprend-o?
Where was I? Oh yeah, Appalachian Caverns. If you’ve not been, pack the wife and youngins in the car, mini-van or truck and head that way. You’ll love it! Great cave, great tour, awesome atmosphere and LOTS of history (if you’re in to that sort of thing, let’s face it, if you’re not, you SHOULD be!) Today Bob Joyner was our tour guide, some of you know Bob from his many trips to local Churches singing. Bob’s a GREAT guy, had a ton of patience with the kids and really gave a great tour. Lidany took some really nice pictures (that I might post someday) and MOST importantly – the kids loved it. We had a nice picnic lunch on the grounds of the facility and then went to Coopers Gem Mine. The kids loved that too. Seems like in Elementary school they love any destination that 1) Gets them out of school for the day 2) Even moderately holds their attention and they might get a chance to play or get dirty and 3) The have a blasted GIFT SHOP!
I don’t know about the other parents there, but I’ll bet if I took one of those CNN polls that the government seems to base everything on – 99% of parents (with a margin of error +/- .5%) would all agree that gift shops shouldn’t be allowed on school trips. I’m KINDA joking, but for the most part I’m not. Give a school kid a “five-spot” and he or she will find SOMETHING to spend it on. They work a gift shop like sweet ants work the floor of a candy store. They swarm EVERYTHING! Those kids were like a National Geographic show on Red Bellied Piranah – EVERYTHING was a potential target. At the gem mine, they even bought ROCKS! It was at this point I was wishing I had my friend Bill’s kidney stones that he suffered through a couple of weekends ago, I’d have made a KILLING! I can just hear the pitch now – “Step right up kids, only 2 left and they won’t make it through a day. These natural formations are like snowflakes, no two are alike! The man that brought me these said it was like giving birth. Pool your money kids – Johnny, you’ve got five dollars. Joey, you’ve got five dollars, put that money together and scrape up what you can from the rest of your classmates and maybe you can take these little calcified gems back to your classroom and share them! Play your cards right and I’ll get them autographed (or the vial anyway) by the man that umm, errr . . . the man that brought them into the world (so to speak)! I’m guessing that by the end of the day – I could have made a small fortune!
The tour lasted just over an hour (I think) and it was great to hear all the questions from their little imaginations. Bob had given them some good basic info about caves and bats (Lidany was PETRIFIED at the thought of a bat getting on her). He (Bob) would quizz them on some of the info he had given them and they retained it well. Kids are amazing – I hate to sound like a Morgan Freeman credit card commercial, but when you can – take a day and spend some time with them. You really don’t have to spend any money – just some time. They’ll NEVER forget it. I know you can’t do it every day, I wish I could – but I was born good looking instead of rich (that’s an old family joke!). But the thing is, they really don’t care about money – not really. They care about time with us – “grown ups”. Go with them now, while they still think your’re cool and they don’t mind hanging out with you! If they just HAVE to spend some money – go by a gift shop and drop 5 bucks. Right now our little “cave explorer” is getting ready for bed and all she’s talked about for a week is this field trip – she’s forgotten about the 5 dollars (and so have I . . . for the most part) but she’ll remember this day for years.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my buddy Gary Barnette at Bristol Caverns too! http://www.bristolcaverns.com/ I worked with Gary at Bristol Caverns YEARS ago! I loved it then and still love it now! It’s another great place to spend a few hours – get away from ringing cell phones and video games. Load the kids up this weekend and take them to one of these places, I promise you’ll enjoy it! I guarantee you’ll enjoy it more than a kidney stone . . . but don’t take my word for it, ask my buddy Bill! 
Ahh, wait a minute here! Since this includes ME… I must clarify. I am not petrified of bats getting on “ME” per se, just of them getting IN MY HAIR!!! I think they’re cute little creatures (in their own creepy kind of way)and feel their existence plays a very important role… I just imagine them getting cought in my curly hair (no thanks to my grandpa)and get chills up and down my spine!
It was a WONDERFUL trip and I wouldn’t trade the memories we made today for the world!